While waiting for the cover art to come in I have had some time to reflect on the process I am I am going through and what I have learned from it. I recommend reflection. It has led to some rather surprising insights about myself. Some confirm what I already knew. I have no patience. When someone says a thing will happen at a certain time I get upset when it doesn’t come through. And hearing that the person I was counting on had unexpected things come up really doesn’t mollify me. It should. I understand and accept what they say. So why can’t I let it go. It is a weakness that plagues me. But I am working on it. Honest!
I also learned some really cool things about myself. The most important is that I am much braver than I realized. Technology, the internet, electronics – these things terrify me.So what am I doing? I am taking the plunge into self-publishing. Not like last time where I paid some company a fortune to do it all for me. No, this time I am doing it myself. Well, not entirely myself. And that brings me to the other cool thing. I have found a circle of writers that I now think of as friends – on the internet. How wonderful! These people are a constant source of encouragement. But they also have taught me so much that I now actually believe I can pull off this self-publishing thing. Imagine that! Me – technophobe!
The other thing these folks have taught me is that I need not be perfect. They will not reject me if I do not agree with them or if I disclose something sensitive or controversial. I can be me – just me.
I have learned that asking questions can often lead to ways to help another who has just come into the circle. I thought I had nothing to offer. Now I have learned that the small things I do offer are appreciated. These friends (including the people I have met in the flesh, like my wonderful editor, Wendy Reis) have taught me that it is OK to ask for help, and they give it generously.
And finally, I have learned that, if I can be patient with myself (yeah, right), I will get through this and have a book out there that I will be proud of. I may not sell a million. I don’t care. Those that do buy it will see that I weave a good tale, with characters they will care about. And that I do it very competently. What more can a writer ask for?